Soberberem I actually understand myself with all the people always good and also have a lot of normal friends. Of course, I also like to meet with these people. However, the fact is that I came across this circle of friends a year ago and had other friends before. Despite that, I do not feel right associated with it. In between, I meet with friends and I'm also invited to big parties. But there are countless groups without me in which all the people I would like to do something with are in there. In this group, they meet constantly, without asking me or anything else. For example, I know they will do something tomorrow. Accordingly, I asked a good friend from the group what she is doing tomorrow, in the hope that she says, ask XY if you can come as it is with another person at home. However, I was just told that she does not yet know what she's doing. In the end, I'm home alone again and they and everyone will be there. Said friend will not have meant that, but I'm hurting the whole situation. I can't invite myself because the whole thing has become a kind of "ritual", so this group always meets every weekend or on certain days of the week to do something specific. For example, there's a group that always meets on a day of the week, which is also tomorrow to watch Netflix series, in the group are also quite a few of my friends in it. I would love to go there too, but can't just say, hey, I'm coming too. Even though I know that none of the people have a problem with me being there, I can't invite myself if this group meets for a year or so. The whole situation puts a strain on me, because I do not feel that way anymore, which makes me very sad.
Ask somebody if he asks the others if you can come
I'm a bit shy at something like that, so I wanted to ask the girlfriend first what she does, because she is actually a person anyway, who then suggests that you can come too. But she does not even tell me what she's doing. I would then insist on "without knowing it at all".
I would ask the person you trust the most or who you think is the most open to new, if you are allowed to come with me because you are bored and you have heard that they will meet in the evening. She will most likely say yes, and then you can test how the group picks you up and how you feel.
Such groups always seem a little bit outward, but if you're brave enough, you can make it to where you want to go.
Okay, thank you for the answer. I do not know if I dare. Maybe I could write to the friend I just mentioned tomorrow, "Are you doing anything tonight?" and then she has to say that somehow and maybe asks herself whether I can come. But I'm afraid to annoy you again. I'm thinking too much and coping too much.
It would be much more honest and enjoyable in my view if you would admit that you would like to participate. The other is a bit manipulative. I think it would be nice if you ask from you if you are allowed to come too. Sometimes I feel the same way about you, and whenever I have done such a task, I feel relieved, because I could honestly represent myself and stand up for my wishes. Then knock yourself on the shoulder!
Thank you in any case! What I would probably dare to ask first is what she does and when she says that, ask if she believes that I can come too.
Then try it that way.
Thanks for your help!
