My best friend and I have known each other "only" for about a year. But this year we really went through a lot together.
We have seen each other lately (yes, despite Corona, please do not comment), sat on the terrace and watched Netflix or just talked.
Last night he wrote me that he wanted to talk to me, we met and then he told me that he had feelings for me.
I was so sorry to have to tell him that I can't return his feelings, that he is definitely important to me, but not in this regard.
I have such a guilty conscience because I always asked him for help from boys and didn't check anything and almost always hurt him with it.
yesterday we talked about 2 hours how to proceed now. He said that friendship is also at the top for him and of course I told him, for me too, and that it would be a shame if we just broke up.
The two of us decided together (!) That we should take a "break" first and hope that after a while it will be okay between us.
I also told him that nothing will change for me as I see him, I'm just afraid that this is exactly what will happen, albeit subconsciously.
I don't know what exactly my question is, but maybe someone has tips on how exactly to deal with it…
You can also be friends with certain advantages?!
Also called friendship +
Well, that's stupid. Clearly something will change. The break will also be good for a while, then first try to continue as usual and see where that leads you. But I wouldn't tell stories about other guys. Certainly he has to make the decision for himself.
I was in the same situation a few weeks ago! Same situation, same problem. In the end, one can only hope that friendship will stand up to it. As a man, I can only say that if my best friend had taken a guy other than me at the time, the friendship would have broken, but since she is single and has no desire for boys at the time, I had enough time to deal with it. Now I wouldn't care if she had someone else. We're and remain best friends!
LG and the best for you!
Thank you for the kind answer!
I immediately told him that it was not because of him, but that I could not imagine a relationship at all in the near future, because other things in my life are just a priority. He understood that too.
Just like my best friend! And please for the answer.
No, that would break more than what has already happened anyway and on my part is nothing more than friendship.
The most important question would be why he thinks he's in love with you. Can only be a rapture that subsides again. And also why you are not in love with him, even though you are so close (I do not need an answer, is only intended as a food for thought). With some people you are actually better just friends and not in a romantic partnership.
If he will still be in love with you for the next 5 years, then I see no reasonable basis for your friendship. He will then convince himself with every friendly gesture that there may be more.
I would actually leave him alone for now so that he can "sort" himself. And after the break try to continue as before. Because if that doesn't work, then you would both have to perform a ballroom dance in this "friendship" for the rest of your life, which is ultimately only dishonest. As hard as that may sound.
So yes is really a complicated story but should I tell you something? Try it with him so what he wants say yes then later you can say again whether you want to continue the relationship or not! So you two are definitely 2 strong guys and I think you can do it.
Thanks for the kind answer.
He said that he hadn't had feelings for me just since yesterday and that "wow, it's pretty".
I honestly don't know why there's nothing on my part, but I can't imagine anything more than friendship between him and me.
