My loyal companion Lulu was put to sleep yesterday at the proud age of 12. She was always with me from the age of 1 until now. Unfortunately, I couldn't say goodbye to her because she had an operation, but the vet discovered something bad in the operation and said that if we let her live like this it would be torture, so my mother decided to have her euthanized. So much for that.
I feel so guilty for not always treating her perfectly. Besides, I couldn't say goodbye to her. That's what gets me down the most. In order to process and realize this a little better, I made phone calls, gambled, watched Netflix, etc. Nothing really distracted me, so I cut myself. (I know that's not good!) Now I don't have to cry anymore and somehow I have such a liberating feeling, why? Can anyone answer this question for me? Oh, and I don't have a diagnosed mental illness like depression!
First of all, I'm sorry for you. We humans deal very differently with strokes of fate and the feelings associated with it. It is an exceptional situation that one has to deal with.
You don't need to feel guilty, everyone makes mistakes from time to time - it's in our nature. You should be able to forgive yourself for mistakes - and at the same time take with you for the future to be careful not to commit them again. You certainly didn't do that much wrong.
Was it the first time you scratched yourself? What amazes me is: How did you get the idea to do that? Self-harming behavior can have multiple triggers, and for you it's likely a mixture of anger (at yourself) and a lack of expressiveness of your feelings. Hurting yourself is then a kind of self-punishment and a kind of outlet. After that, the head finds some peace. In addition, pain releases the body's own drugs that "stimulate" a bit. All of this then ensures the liberating feeling. It actually works in a similar way to drugs and can become an addiction. Hence, it is not a good thing and must be taken seriously.
Crying and talking to parents / friends about it would have been the better way.
You can say goodbye to her at any time - her body doesn't have to be with you…
the soul lives on!
Hi, first of all I'm really sorry… Our family dog was also put down two years ago and it was really bad.
I think scratching practically distracts you from the psychological pain and that's why it helps so well. But please stop that if things get stupid it could become a real addiction and then you always do it when you feel bad… It's all different than good and such. I've barely done it for a year now and it's still pretty hard not to do it again. You could talk about it with friends, distract yourself with them or with your family
Thanks for the nice and detailed answer!
No, it wasn't the first time that I scratched myself.
Unfortunately, I have to be honest: I don't know exactly how I came up with it, I just started.
Oh man, I'm sorry… I also know the seriousness pretty well, you could first go to the doctor about something else (without your parents) ohm and ask how and whether you could go into therapy without your parents knowing.
