My friend goes crazy all of a sudden?

I hope you are all well.

As already mentioned above in the subject, it is about my partner (29, one child) with whom I have been together for a short time (6 weeks).

I wanted to ask people on the net who don't know me and my partner.

Brief description:

We met on a dating app a few weeks ago and have been together for 6 weeks. When we do something together (usually he comes to me and we watch Netflix) then he's always sweet to me. Always has the phone on its side and concentrates only on me. We can talk well and have a lot of fun together. His friends also know about me and he also expressed the wish to a friend that I should become his wife.

He's changed recently. He asked me why I'm still registered with Dating.Apps, even though we're a couple. I said, I've had the experience many times that my relationships were short-lived and therefore I didn't want to delete them. I assured him that I'm not currently using it. He insisted that I delete my account in front of his eyes and take the relationship with him more seriously. I also did that. After I deleted it, everything became the same for him. When we see each other, when we text, etc. If I take the initiative and ask whether we will see each other later, I usually get an answer like: "Yes, let's see. I do a few things and we can possibly do something later ; if you still like that ".

But he also shows a completely different side to this "everything is the same to me" attitude. He's totally controlling and jealous. Where am i now Why didn't I tell him? What am i doing there? Why doesn't he know anything about it? Are you at home? Is someone with you? How long have you been walking where? Who was with you If I ask such questions, it's already too many. He keeps a very low profile and answers very briefly. (But I should always let him know where I'm going and woe if not)

I once asked who his ex-partner, with whom he had a child, was. I took the liberty of asking myself because it turned out that he was going to visit his child two places away from my hometown. He answered my question completely covered. He didn't want to tell me who she is and didn't want to show me a picture. I can't comprehend that.

I don't see through there anymore. Can you help me?

Thank you very much in advance for your helpful answers and your time.

Stay healthy!

We can now react unilaterally to your statement but together for 6 weeks and then such reactions would mean for me that the app has to be used again because I don't need such a person. My personal advice, shoot it down if there are already problems that you can't discuss personally.

Better log back into this dating app, you should be using it again soon!

Give him an ultimatum: Either he changes his behavior or you are gone! But be consistent and actually shoot him in the wind if he lets this ultimatum pass, because then you deserve a better one!

That goes wrong. He surely believes you (dating app deleted), so he tries less. What should it be after the marriage? At the same time jealousy and secrets!

The question about his ex is completely normal and justified, since you would have contact anyway. After all, there's a child, the ex certainly has partial custody, so agreements are necessary that would later affect you too. Secrets at this point are completely counterproductive.

Incidentally, partners shouldn't go into detail when it comes to their previous relationships, but by and large should already tell what was there. It's part of life and of the package that everyone carries around with them.

I would say maybe she should try it without apps.

And therapy would be necessary with him. The best thing to do is to check that he is going there and also wait in front of the therapist's treatment (consulting room) so that he does not just go there for pretense.

As one who likes to check others again… That should be acceptable to him. (Otherwise direct separation.)

I think you BOTH have fears of loss in one way or another. I can't see much trust from both sides in your relationship.

Trust takes time and, under certain circumstances, many conversations in order to be understood by others.

Sit down and speak openly and honestly, without mutual reproaches, your insecurities, fears and concerns.

This is the only way you can find out whether your two outlooks on life and ideas of partnership also fit together.

All the best!

Thank you for your personal advice on this and your time.

Thank you for your advice. The one with the ultimatum is a good option. I'll think about it. (I'm happy to accept many options from the users and think about which ones are best for me or make a pro-con list for this) Thank you in any case for your opinion and your time.

Thanks for your comment. With therapy, I'm not sure whether I should address that. I'll take it up as an option. I have to think about everything and sort out the chaos in my head.

That's exactly what I think. Why do you keep a secret about the partner you have a child with? I already knew from that that he wasn't serious, otherwise he would have disclosed all of this to me. I also see it as very counterproductive!

Thank you very much for this answer. And recognized very well. From my side, I can only reveal that I'm afraid of loss. Or my therapist said that my parents' divorce contributed to the fact that I now want the "happy ending". Say I hold onto a relationship for so long because I long for a "happy ending" so badly. I still have to work hard on that.

I'm glad if I could help you a little. And for you - all love, you can pack it!

That is exactly what came to my mind several times. People who are so jealous are mostly the ones who cheat themselves, I've heard that so often. I can't prove anything. I don't want to check and spy afterwards either. When I think about it like that, I don't know whether it all still makes sense when the foundation stone of trust has already been shaken. Thank you in any case for your opinion and your time. Especially for your detailed answer on this.

Not just a little. Thank you very much. Also wish you all the best and have a nice day.

Thank you, dear of you! -)

You have a good attitude and I see it like you, too, when there's no trust, it makes no sense.

He will then probably control you more and more, so that you almost choke on it. So unless you're madly in love with him, then I would probably keep my hands off it.

And otherwise really talk about the fact that you don't like it that much and that something has to change about it.