So my friend says we should do something with his friends but I'm kind of scared that it will be really embarrassing and just silent. I also have the problem of being so shy with boys and hardly talking. And then they want to smoke weed and I want to do that too, but I don't want to. But I also want to spend normal time with him because I have only been with him for 3 months or so and have done nothing but '' Netflix & Chill ''. I really love him very much but I can never really talk to him because I always feel so funny but just write that is totally funny.
Thank you in advance stays healthy and sry for the spelling mistakes
Yes, you have to take a little responsibility and say more clearly what you want. Why should you try smoking pot because of him if you don't want to? That is brain tearing. Just because you're too shy to disagree?
3 months only Netflix & Chill? Ultra boring, get creative and finally tell him that you want to do something different.
It's good that he wants to introduce you to his friend. You are more likely to be afraid because you are so shy. There's something easy to start with: If you talk to him, you simply ask about everything he tells you, then you don't have to talk about yourself as much and you have plenty of time to calm down.
And say more in the future what you want or don't want.
So basically it is a good sign if he also wants to introduce his friends to you. This means that you are important to him and he would like to share his life with you, and that includes his friends.
But what's not okay is if he doesn't accept that you don't want to smoke pot. I have never smoked, but I was there when my ex smoked for the first time and with another guy whose brownies were eaten on his birthday. I didn't take anything and that was a good thing because I didn't want to and it was accepted. If he doesn't accept that, it would be a warning sign for me. Don't let yourself be brought to something you don't want!
What is also worrying is that you can't talk to each other… Communication is so important in any relationship, if you can't do it you will have problems in the relationship. Overcome yourself and talk to each other. I know it's difficult at the beginning, I haven't been able to do it myself for a long time and find it easier to write. But you have to be able to speak face-to-face in a relationship and say if something bothers you. Otherwise it won't work in the long run.
Wait, if I understand that correctly, then you are not talking to your friend, you are just writing and you are doing nothing but watching Netflkc? Sorry but that's not a relationship!
If you don't want to go to the friends with you, you don't have to, but I think that human contact would do you good, because you will have to talk to a lot of people, including men, later in your studies or elsewhere, that you do not know.
When you go to see his friends, you don't have to be the person who entertains everyone. His buddies will definitely have a normal conversation as usual and you can mainly talk to your friend if you only want that.
They shouldn't and shouldn't force you to smoke pot and you should only do what you want.
However, I believe that you should work on your self-confidence and maybe do behavioral therapy or something similar. The fact that you have not been talking to your boyfriend for 3 months is by no means normal and even if you are shy, you have to learn to talk to boys and other strangers at some point, otherwise it will be fatal at some point. Don't you have any problems at school with that? In connection with the relationship and your problem you can also talk to your parents / grandparents etc.
Talking helps 😉
Well i talk very little with him… Only with him i'm so with my best friend i talk a lot but i also know that i have no self-confidence.
You can work on self-confidence. If you can talk to your best friend, that's fine, but how is it in general, i.e. With other strangers, regardless of whether you're a woman or a man? Don't you dare to talk there?
In my opinion, talking is very important in a relationship.
I used to be able to address everyone in the city, I sometimes even complimented a stranger. I do not know what happened that I became like this… I have been '' depressed '' for a long time if you can say so.
Ok then I strongly assume that there has been some negative experience in your life, which has made you more introverted. Try to talk to your family about it and "train" contact with strangers.
I experienced something similar in my youth. By the time I was 15, I was very extroverted and said what I thought. My father died when I was 15 and after that I was very calm and introverted for a relatively long time, avoiding contact with strangers. In general, the experience has shaped my life during this time and I have changed quite a bit in my whole way of thinking and came across as very grown up for many. As a result, I started to spend time with older people because most of my age were too childish. After about 1 - 1.5 years the whole thing returned to normal and I also spent time with people my age. Today I'm again a very extroverted person.
The fact that you can talk to each other well is more or less the basis for a relationship. If it is easier for you to open yourself up while writing, you can try it first, but gradually you should definitely start talking like that.
It's best to start doing something different. Go for a walk, have a picnic, anything where you can chat.
And what about meeting with his best friend. Tell him you're a little nervous about it, but that you come with me on the condition that it doesn't get stoned.
As your friend, he should absolutely respect your limits.
My condolences: / well with me there was no negative experience… Maybe I have a lot of stress with my family, changed schools because my mother thought that my friends in my old school were not doing well and was therefore torn away by my happy life. I hate my current school because I hardly have any friends and those from my old school don't want to have anything to do with me anymore…
Self-confidence does not describe what kind of self-awareness I'm. In this sense, the term is misleading.
