Date phobia?

Huhu,

So maybe someone knows the problem and has tips or can encourage me 😅

It's always against the same thing, I write with a guy, we make good mistakes and then comes the question about the date. From here on I get pensive. Then a meeting is arranged and I always refuse. Then end the contact because I don't want to stop anyone but it still annoys me.

I "got to know" someone and he seems to be really very sweet but I notice how I feel against the urge to say no. (would be the 5 "request" that I reject.)

I'm just always excited. Then I think it would be a lot more relaxed to watch Netflix and stay at home. My last date was just a catastrophe… My whole we were messed up. Almost never have Saturdays off anyway and the guy was just terrible.

Maybe you can help me or share your experiences here 😊

You don't have to be afraid of it. It is not all that you stay with the person you had a date with. A date is also there to get to know each other better. Maybe you will notice something about him on the date I don't like it at all (habits e.g. Booger, ect) If it doesn't work then you look for someone else.

Your problem is that because of a single bad experience you deny all future experiences and opportunities.

If a child who is learning to walk stayed lying there crying after the first fall, they would never learn to walk. But it gets up and falls down again until it can finally run safely.

Just have the courage to fall flat on the face two, three and four times.

Otherwise you can be caged as a maid right away.

I've come across a specimen like you myself.

But I didn't understand it then…

She always canceled dates shortly beforehand on the grounds that she would not be fine after the third time, as a guy, you feel pretty rude. I was also pretty frustrated as a man then. But well…

You should perhaps seek professional help and deal with what is blocking you.

I don't think you are a "lost cause". Not everyone (even in the digital age) wants to be able to / want to "data" someone with whom one has only exchanged information in writing, digitally.

The expectations you have of the person are possibly too high, as are the expectations of yourself, who absolutely must not "screw up" this date; and and…

Even today there are other ways of making friends with a person. Often they are work colleagues, people you meet at festivities, in clubs. You really see these people, you get to know them sooner than you write to them at some point.

If I were you, I'd rather think about such an approach. It could be a lot more relaxed and successful!

Only date people you've known for half a year. ^^

I should only write with him for six months?

Well, my problem is that I work in a small company. Everyone is married there and I wouldn't want to do anything with a colleague. I'm the oldest in my vocational school and my hobby is horse riding. You don't really meet male beings there either😅

Otherwise, my friends circle consists of a buddy. So I started this "online dating": /

Yes, unless you are soul mate and can express your character / hobbies / interests in just a few emails. ^^

So personally I don't think I would write 1/2 year with whom. So everyone does it right, but whoever you meet and nothing works, I wasted 1/2 year 😅🙈