Hallölchen, I know it's late to ask something, but unfortunately I only find time for it at night.
I've been single for 13 years, involuntarily. I've tried more often with men but my daughters just don't allow it, last year 2 men were at my home and my two angels (15, twins) "drive away" the men every time, they are cheekily looked at at the food sting Watching Netflix is constantly disturbed until the two no longer feel like it, etc.
Today I told both of them that tomorrow a man would come to our house and they blocked it completely and said to me "he can dare to set foot here, then we will rush Teddy on him" (our dog, a husky)
And now the two of them came to my bedroom less than an hour ago, cuddled up to me and told me "you are only ours" and one of them even fell asleep with a tear on her cheek… Above all, I think it's weird that one is with me didn't want to talk to me in the last few days… Is puberty really that bad?
Now I wonder how I should explain it to you again in the morning that I also have a need for a man
(Of course they don't get the dog chased, he is very nicely brought up)
Ok, try again for good. But then mom will have to deal with other sides. She has a life too, after all, and the kids will be gone in a few years…
You could reasonably explain to your children that you also have a right to a life and also to be close and warm.
The love for children is a different love than that for a man.
Open and clear words. They are no longer toddlers.
I think you can be a little tougher there, too.
I see the same way
I have the impression that your children are afraid that you will forget them or that you won't care if you still have a man by your side in your life. The best thing to do is to talk to them first and prove them wrong by continuing to do something with them and taking time for them.
As an example, you could set one day of the week when you and your children always do something or spend time together, but where the man has no business that day. However, that does not mean that you just ignore your children on the other days or anything like that.
However, you could then also set a day every week on which you can take time alone with the man and you can also do something without children.
Nobody is disadvantaged by these fixed days and everyone has you for a day, so to speak. Spending a day with the man shouldn't be a problem since your children are already 15. However, you should discuss these fixed days with everyone, both the husband and your children, so that everyone knows and nobody can say they did not know.
In any case, you should talk to your children and tell them how much you love them. Tell them that you will always love them even if you are in a relationship with a man. Make it clear to them that they will not lose you but that you still need a man to be close.
Are or have they both been in love before? If so, ask them how they would feel if you drove away each of their crushes / friends and prevented them from being in a relationship and being happy.
These are no longer children who have to understand that you are not only a mother but also a woman and that you have a right to happiness.
"he can trust himself to set foot here, then we rush Teddy on him"…
cuddled up to me…
I would not have allowed that after such a statement! This is how you show them that they can do what they want with you.
You brought up a selfish brut. Here is time to speak very clear words and to clearly understand who is the master of the house. First of all, send them to your grandparents or your father during the visit.
One also has a friend
Great, then ask her if you should scare him off because she only belongs to YOU … Turn the tables, maybe she'll understand then.
Thanks for the star 🤗
