I'm now 16 and my parents restrict me completely and never allow me anything and never let my arguments count or never listen to me and I do not know what I can do about it.
For example. My dad controls my phone completely. For example, I can never download or even update apps because he has restricted everything on my phone. He also restricts my Wi-Fi completely, I have Wi-Fi between 7 am and 8 pm for 2 hours, otherwise I can't do anything after these 2 hours because I have only slow data volumes.
I also do not get Netflix, which I have been asking for 3 years now, and Amazon Prime, which he had dropped me off for the class trip, as I asked him to watch a show, he banned or deleted me yesterday because I was next to it the series also watched a movie.
I'm not allowed to go out either, I have to be home at 7:30 pm at the latest at 8:30 pm, as if I were 10 and not 16.
For all I never get an explanation and all my arguments do not count for them and I honestly do not want to go along with them, I'm treated by them as if I were 10, but I do not know what to do about it and really talk to them I can't do it either.
Although I do not know myself how someone can help me more exactly, but maybe someone has tips or maybe I can help.
Tell your parents something about privacy. Talk to a teacher of trust.
Exit until 19 o'clock I think now not bad.
It depends on why this is done.
I had until I moved out of my own Internet and only about an hour a day on the family PC. Probably also because I spent too much time anyway before the PC.
Netflix and co are a cost factor. There you can offer to pay the cost of your pocket money. And if you have agreed that you are only watching the show, you should not be surprised if privileges are withdrawn in case of a breach of the agreement.
At the break times, are the weekdays or weekends? During the week I see no problem there. For the WE you can even try to negotiate at 22 o'clock. Have you ever had something to owe on it? Plated times? Overslept? Homework not done?
Rules in the family are often a give and take. If you are behaving well and ready to "give", e.g. Costs for Netflix, help out in the household beyond the expected anyway, etc. Can you cite that as an argument for more privileges.
Often privileges and expectations are coupled. For break times, e.g. Often you expect drann holds without grumble, it has no negative impact on the school and does not misbehave when you're gone in the evening.
That's the thing I ask for three years, for example, to Netflix and offer since the beginning to pay it yourself.
And the break times are for the WE, do not let them talk.
I have so often scrounged and never has anything changed then I'm slowly no longer bother me to make any effort if it leads to anything anyway.
If I were you, I would indeed turn to the youth welfare office for advice. Of course you will not come to a shared flat because of this, but the youth welfare office can offer you and your parents advice so that you can agree on new age-appropriate rules.
Of course, the same thing is done by local education counselors. It may even be that the youth welfare office recommends such advice to you and your parents.
But in my experience, the offer of advice is "emphatic" ;-), if it comes from the youth welfare office. When invited by a counseling center, parents often say: they can do it to us, we can do everything right. "But when they are invited by the youth welfare office, parents think that over.
Go here too:
http://www.bke-jugendberatung.de
free, anonymous and secrecy of psych. Consultant.
But one question: is your father naturally over-worried or… Um… Did he have bad experiences with you? Butter with the fish… Or are you Muslims, where the girls are simply strictly supervised?
You write only about your father. What's up with your mother? Does she say nothing, she is also under the thumb of your father and has nothing to report, or is she okay?
I do not know that my father has had bad experiences with me, but reasons are not even mentioned to me.
No, we're Christians.
No, my mother says nothing or should not have a say in the matter, but when I talk to her about it she says that when dad says that is so rictug because she has little idea about it.
What you can try is the following.
You are of age in 2 years and can do what you want. It should therefore be in your parents' interest to slowly approach you with responsibility. Try to convince them that it is better if you "practice" things like going out, etc., where they can still forbid you or give house arrest if it does not work out in 2 years where they have no influence.
What you should not do is compare. Things like "but Sarah may as well" or "But Johanna also has" tend to cause even more blockages.
Why does she have little idea? She is your mother. Does she have no own point of view in the topic?
There's no neglect here, so the Rat Jugendamt is nonsense.
