Relationship problems - or should I stay with my girlfriend?

Here is a slightly longer explanation.

I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years. 4 months ago, we first moved together. We're both 21 years old.

Already at contracting (and also before) I had the feeling again and again that this relationship leads to nothing. Partly I feel really dead because I'm actually a pretty active person and like to do things, whereas my girlfriend prefers your nose only in books and the latest series on Netflix and except to work and with the dog not at the door goes (which unfortunately makes me very similar…)

Now it's like (as mentioned) that we live together and have already built up a bit.

But I met a woman almost 2 months ago. She is really stunning, but also in a relationship with the father of her 1 year old son (not married).

That we both feel something for each other is obvious and we have already talked about it. She is also unhappy in your relationship. According to her description it looks exactly the same with her as with me (no passion, no sex, no love far too often disputes and the feeling does not fit into the relationship), with the only exception that she may actually have no other contacts, Your friend is Muslim and forbids her any social contact (in front of me quite successful).

By the way, she is 20 years young.

We had no sex and no kiss because we both do not really know how to deal with the situation. However, we actually have continuous physical contact (cuddling, holding hands, etc.)

How do you assess the situation, what are your opinions / experiences on the subject?

Well I think you already know the answer alone, you are only 21 years young and your relationship is basically already before the end, the so-called air is out…

The many things that are important to you and your friend can't offer you, so it would probably make sense sooner or later more meaningful first to talk about what then changes and otherwise consider a separation into consideration.

Very easily. Before you disappoint your girlfriend even more and continue to waste your lifetime, stop and animate the other woman to do the same. These two relationships lead to nothing but ever-increasing pain.

There you have really a block on the shoulders! First of all, you have to go one way. You should ask yourself if you really still love your girlfriend, enough for a relationship. Based on your actions with this woman, your feelings are not enough.

That must be your priority, this is your girlfriend and deserves a fair ending. Your decision.

Then you have to see what that is with this woman. Something long-term? Can this work with such a strict friend in mind? Is she ready? Just do not rush anything you regret. You have butterflies in your stomach because you lack something in your relationship, but be aware of the consequences of your choices. 3 years relationship, there's a lot behind and that must be clear to you.

Thank you for your answer.

In principle, you tell me what I already know. This decision is only a very serious one. I have to meet you, I realize. However, I would like to delay it without hurting anyone to decide.

And where to hesitate? Maybe you think you want to delay it, but in the end it's a change, a big one. And we humans hate change.

Give yourself the time you need for a safe decision. You need it, but your priority remains your friend, that's your first duty.

How do I assess the situation?

The habit unsettles you, in addition to the new Arragement (living together, it usually takes some time to get together there then, begins to find the toothpaste remnants in the pool annoying, begins to work out compromises and solutions).

You've just moved together a few months ago. Probably means that you still pay off one or the other of the initial investment… Is at least often like that. The money would be downright wrong when you scratch the curve again at the next best opportunity.

Think again: Which of you is in the lease? Or are you both equally in the lease? Depending on that, you have to think of something else before you can move out.

Next: A separation means that one of you will move out. Or both, if one alone can't afford your current home. So means: looking for new accommodation, possibly pay brokerage costs - or just the telephone costs and travel costs while looking for and visited. Furthermore, the deposit fee at the beginning of the collection, in the amount of so many monthly rentals. But you have to have that first as a bunch on the account.

Then you need a new home furnishings (because at a separation you will probably share your household with each other, or The "whose name is on the bills of home furnishings and utensils" will pack his stuff and the other must get new stuff comparable.

A spontaneous "I disconnect myself" is so costly, should be planned then reasonable long term… Or do you want to live for months after the separation with the ex? I think that would not be good.

Next: So you want to jump from one relationship to another? Because the old habit has become boring and you as a current couple (you and your current partner) are unable to find compromises or agree "Okay, everyone has their own hobbies, we're not obliged to experience everything together"?

Yes, that's exactly what you can tell by what you wrote in the questionnaire. You have different recreational interests, you have adapted to it and are annoyed by it.

Still further: The woman you target… So has a child? Together with her partner?

So each of you brings a big package. Yours is filled with then current financial bottlenecks, stress with the search for a new place to stay, stress with the eventual renovation and home furnishings. In addition, you suspect the old relationship.

Her package includes: She is the mother of a small child. Assuming she and her partner live together, one has to move out and the other pays the loser out (so as not to have to endure the stress of splitting up the household). It may also have a financial shortage. In addition, a contact regulation would have to be found between biological father and toddler. Depending on how the adults are doing this is about the authority and takes some time until all parties are reasonably satisfied.

A fresh start a la "love lovebirds" the all-round experience, every weekend on tour, spontaneous travel elsewhere, in the beginning time anytime, anywhere to have sex… Is limited possible if one enters into a relationship with a single parent of a small child.

For this woman is (at least that's usually so) her child first. If it weeps, it is with him. If it is sick, the planned spontaneous trip falls into the water. If you and the child do not get along, they decide for their child.

Furthermore, her ex, as the biological father of the child, will continue to play a role in the everyday life of this woman and her child. If he is decent and responsible enough.

Are you really sure that you…

quite spontaneously want to break out of the current relationship and (financially) can?
and this other woman has enough strength and will to throw together your two packages and carry them together?