A good special friend (Crush) and I have known each other for about 8 months (actually over a year but only saw each other at the time). We met often and did something together, e.g. Going out to eat, going to the cinema, riding a motorcycle, shopping, cooking and watching Netflix together, skiing etc.
Only over time did I get feelings for her through more frequent meetings and talked about it and it came out that I'm very, very important to her. The thing is, when I confessed to her (3 months ago), she took an interest in me. In the meantime, however, she has lost interest.
She recently had a boyfriend who she broke up with because she said she didn't feel the Bzh anymore. She said then, when I confessed my feelings to her, that she was having problems with her boyfriend at the time and believes that she is interested in them.
After we had a discussion about it last week (we often talked about the topic) suddenly there was silence. She did not reply to my message via DM on Instagram and I did not reply to her WhatsApp message. I ignored her for a few days so that she can get some peace from me and calm down about the separation. In the meantime we (only) snapped, but neither of us looked at the other's snap. Yesterday she opened my snaps and replied to them (I continued to ignore hers) after I always snapped something for her, she opened it immediately and always replied. Today she also wrote on WhatsApp, so we started talking again and snapped and wrote a lot.
The thing is, it is like this every time. If I ignore her for a few days so that she has her peace of mind. She always spams me on Snapchat and WhatsApp and is as active as I rarely know her.
What exactly does she want, don't I mean what to her? She wants something but is unsure. How do you see it?
Yeah, well, I'm not an expert when it comes to women, but I know that when you do a lot with a person and have a lot of contact, you connect a lot with them. She feels absolutely drawn to you, but when you've just broken up, you look for closeness to your safest contacts, those who wouldn't break off contact at once and who you've known the longest. Conclusion: I think that at the moment she feels most secure with you because she subconsciously always knows you couldn't just leave her. I think you are really in the friend zone with her at the moment.
So if you are still interested in her and want to be well received by her then you have to (very importantly) do your own thing, live your own life and (passively) show her that in case of doubt you could go through life completely alone. So that you are not dependent on anything or anyone. If she realizes over time that you are just doing your own thing and really standing with your own two feet on the floor (and believe me she will notice it 100 percent), then maybe she will in a different way (no longer friendzone) get interested in you again.
This message will only help you if you implement it.
Yes I had planned anyway, but now with lockdown and the weather none of that works. I can't get out of my mind, I can't ride a motorcycle because the weather is for now and the schools exaggerate homeschooling and I have to think about them all the time. But when the weather gets nicer and warmer again and I can be outside permanently again, I won't have to think about her as often
Important: if you suppress thoughts of her, it is not good for you. That is why the feelings are not there to suppress them. If you accept that you are sad or confused, things will get better quickly. But if you keep telling yourself "no, I can't be sad now" then the pain comes. So surrender to your feelings. You will notice it is extremely good to cry over something. And even if you just feel empty and have to think about her, never try to suppress your feelings. Trust me.
I don't want to suppress it, I just don't want to think about it. I need one to distract me from her
She keeps you warm. With this she caresses her ego and comforts herself through the separation time. She was uncomfortable that you wanted more, that's why she kept her distance. Now she thinks you get it and she can continue to be friends with you (and let you caress her ego). My opinion about it.
What exactly are you telling me?
That, in my opinion, she's not into you (enough).
