I'm female and 19 years old. I would like to briefly explain my situation, maybe something can help me:
At my level I'm in a group of 5 girls, we always spend the breaks together and get along very well, but when I want to do something private, the others just don't want to. They always say that they prefer to watch Netflix alone and want to be alone. Which is a shame but I also accept it.
If we do something together, e.g. What goes out to eat or drink is always a lot of fun and everyone also says that we do something more often, but when I ask again if they have time, nothing usually comes. Slowly I have the feeling that they are totally happy alone, which of course I find totally okay, but it bothers me a little bit that you keep saying that you should do more, but then nothing happens. To be honest, it is a bit too tiring for me to always run after them
Of course I also have friends outside of school, they are really unproblematic when it comes to doing something together and it always works without problems.
I somehow want to have more friends who also want to do something. It may sound stupid, but I don't really know how to find friends or how to get into a group of friends. Most of the time, I only travel in pairs. My cousin is the same age and sometimes I go with her and her friends, which is always a lot of fun for me, but I'm just totally shy and reserved.
I think that's my problem: with strangers I tend to take over the passive part, I'm calm, hardly say anything and just hope that someone will speak to me. If I have the courage to say something, they will of course talk to me, but at some point the topic will be over and then I will be quiet again.
Do you have any tips for me on how I can simply become more open, have more self-confidence in strangers? I will soon be moving to a new city to study and should be more open at the latest so that I can make more contacts. Most of the time I just don't know what to say.
You are welcome to write me anything about it, even if you have experienced it yourself, I really want to change that in myself.
I don't think you have a problem, you're already the active part of it all. You can't do more than ask. This "we should definitely do more" is something everyone will hear, but when it comes to meeting people are too comfortable.
Had the same problem and then just went with my cousin just like you. Don't know how your cousin and my cousin manage to build something like that, haha
I don't see any problem for your studies. That's why many people move and are just as interested as you are to quickly get to know new people.
It was no different with me. You can quickly find new people if you actively go to the offered events and accept the tips of your fellow students.
