I've been desperate for months. I already have some friends at school (around 7) and they are very popular at my school. But I don't feel like I'm part of it. Ever since I was 6, I've felt like an outsider. At school, I'm often told that I'm very personable & open, but that is exactly my problem. I'm too open & personable. Recently I heard a 10 year old girl say to herself, I'm ugly. "I went to her specially & said, girl, you are beautiful". My more popular friends are arrogant and pretentious (still love them). They talk about boys all the time etc. I also like boys a lot, but when you talk about boys I find it boring & they also like completely different types than me. You like peers or high school students. I still like older boys (in my opinion there are the most attractive haha at the age of 25-30). I like conversations about deeper topics (like life etc.). Uff, nowadays you are only something better if you have a high level of self-confidence and act accordingly. I have changed my entire clothing style since this year (I have ordered a lot of clothes that will arrive soon). I finally want to be part of it & have a typical teenage life with parties etc. While my friends go to house parties every weekend or meet, I stay at home & watch a whole series on Netflix with sweatpants & overzise sweaters or sleep during the day and listen to music. I wasn't even out during the winter holidays. Ahh. The only reason why I don't finally feel dead is because I have met someone who is there for me.
What should I do about this feeling? Why is it there? (Please don't put it on puberty. I don't know anyone who is as old as I & feels so strange.): LG
I'm 16 and by nature an outsider… Until I was 12 I had a lot of friends, then all contact was broken off… It is much nicer to be alone with your thoughts, read or research, Netflix, gamble, go for a walk etc. So i feel more free.
I always had only a few friends or none at all. I preferred to have those outside of school back then who were interested in things other than parties etc.
BTW, are you already thinking about the meaning of life? Yes, I also like philosophy, but I would appreciate that there's no meaning in life. No god, no life after death, not even the completion of the superman or the further multiplication… The meaning of life: IS LIFE ITSELF, THAT LIFE IN ITSELF.
You live to live… Schopenhauer and co greetings… Ask yourself what you need a job for and why the money and why the house and why the food to live… You live for life and not for family or work… So it is simple… So one could only unmask life relatively quickly as a big waste if one pursues these intentions
You remind me a lot of me, only that I never had friends because of these "boring" conversations.
I also find older ones more interesting (my friend is 8 years older and I'm actually much more mature than he is even xD)
I find conversations more profound and interesting
You shouldn't adapt to the others. You are as good as you are and it is difficult to find people in school anyway who know the important things in life. In my school back then everyone was just talking about parties and the typical topics.
I only experienced my time when I was partying when I was 18/19. In retrospect, I noticed that it is not for me because I prefer to relax and chill. And if you are satisfied with Netflix & chill then do it and if you want to try partying, give it a try.
To your question: I still have the feeling today and have still not found any people at my level. Only my friend but sometimes he's like you ^^ So nothing helped me. But maybe you can get rid of the feeling and everything will be fine
Definitely wish you to be happy.
