My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 months and he is a very toxic person, he argues with me every day about every little thing: /
At the beginning, when we were fresh together, he wasn't like that at all, he was so lovely and it didn't bother him at all that I went into town with other friends or that I used Instagram / Facebook.
Suddenly it started to change day by day, it got more and more toxic and toxic, I was very surprised because this is so new of him.
He started forbidding me to do things, no more social media, Netflix. Or even having contact with cousins, on Steam he controlled my friends and ordered me to remove them all. (I did it because I love him and I'm just blind.)
I thought it wouldn't get worse, but his toxic behavior got worse after that. He found an old Facebook account of mine and asked why there are some guys in my friends list, I said honestly and directly that these are simply schoolmates from the past and he was of the firm opinion that I would have flirted with them all "safe". I cried every day and wondered why he just doesn't trust me, what am I doing wrong?
He threatens me with the breakup every day, I began to get panicked not to irritate him in any case because I just didn't want him to really leave me forever. Then the day came when he even forbade me to have contact with my only best friend. I was speechless. : / Just didn't know what to say anymore, he yelled at me, got more and more aggressive and more and more disrespectful.
Every hour he wants to know what I'm doing, I'm not allowed to do anything myself for an hour, the only thing where he doesn't say anything is when I'm doing something with my mom.
Out of anger he says the worst things to me. I would be an H. Or something else the next day he apologizes and says that all this is only due to his anger.
The strange thing is only when we SEE each other he is like an angel a completely different person, but as soon as we talk on the phone. Is he a devil. But why is he like that? Do any of you have experience with that?
I want to help him, I love him very much and really want to help him, I researched everywhere how to deal with this toxic but often it just says. That separation is the only solution, but I don't want to give it up so easily.
Do you have any advice for me?
So check out who binds himself forever, whether he can find a better one.
Change your friend, it won't work with the current one.
Why haven't you given those guys a run for a long time? At the latest when my partner thinks that I have to forbid something I would laugh at him and throw him out on edge.
Such things can and should be discussed, but prohibition is a completely different category.
My only advice: break up while you can.
My sister's best friend had a guy like that, at first totally loving, then more and more bans and arguments up to and including beatings over every little thing.
It ended with us having to break into her apartment because he locked her there when he had to go to work and turned off the electricity, heating and water beforehand. She escaped from the apartment twice, then there were locks on the windows and he had installed surveillance cameras.
She first moved to my sister, but he tried to force her to get her out and then to a women's shelter.
Of course it doesn't have to get that far, but once you have noticed it you become very, very suspicious.
Do you have any advice for me?
Pack up lumber and separate it better yesterday than today. Nobody needs such a type burdened with inferiority complexes. The guy is not capable of relationships.
He should seek psychotherapeutic help - the behavior is clearly pathological.
I'm sorry, but the only thing that really helps is the separation. Because it's going to get worse and worse. You noticed that yourself. That will only increase.
At the beginning you show yourself from your best side, so he wasn't like that yet. But now he is showing his true colors more and more. And by letting you do that with you and not drawing a line, he goes on and on. He sees that it works for you and that you submit to him.
How do you imagine helping him? You can only help people who want to work on it themselves or who want to change. But he doesn't want to change at all. He wants to boss you around. It suits him so that you follow his commands and he can do what he wants with you.
