So I'm w / 16 and my (single) mother I think can handle money zero. We moved to a house a few years ago that was mostly paid for by her parents (my grandparents). And I just found out that she went into debt to set up the house and everything -is normal when building a house, I'll go into debt. Anyway, last week I ordered my bus ticket online and then I had to enter your card and then came to your online banking and there was over 100 euro minus the debit? And that at the beginning of the month… Which is not so good, but she is a single parent, doesn't have a really good job now, …
But what I'm interested in is: Yesterday she asked me and my brother if we wanted to go shopping, just a clothes for school (he is doing an apprenticeship but just needed pants etc. But he could have bought them with his money if he already goes to work if you are not so fluent right now, right?) So I said no because of course I would need something for school only I just buy it after school with my money… AND they are not only went shopping like that but only bought things at PikunfKlockenburg (no idea how to write it) so wtf HOW CAN YOU ACHIEVE IT?! Aja and then she bought two big bags for herself from Zara and H&M even though she has enough clothes for the next 100 years.
She never asked to cancel Spotify or Netflix, which would be the first step if you have money problems (reduce fixed costs) - I've now bought Spotify vouchers with my money so that at least 10 euro get away and I have to go to AmazonPrime see if you can use the normal Amazon vouchers for this and Netflix belongs to my brother, so to speak, I can't do much there now (I've been watching my aunt for a long time - is not his aunt)
Another example. She just bought my brother a television set, it wasn't a birthday, Christmas or anything else?! (I'm not jealous, I care about not being able to afford it)
So my question is: Does it pay to make me really worried or should I just concentrate on school and try to 'ignore' that because she is basically an adult (she is absolutely incapable of criticism, so it would make no sense to talk to her either way do - just make it worse)
I hope it didn't come across as arrogant, I'm just worried and afraid that she won't be able to pay the debt back and they'll come and clear the house…
and one more question: can anyone explain to me why one can be so irresponsible? So is it because it may make her feel better for a short time or it can hide her problems? I just don't understand how you can be so reckless with money…
For your age you can reflect and oversee this incredibly well! Respect!
I would have an open conversation with her. If necessary, involve your grandparents if that is possible.
I consider your worries to be justified. However, even less than you do, know how to talk to your mother about it. Unfortunately, it really doesn't seem to be the most sensible.
Can't talk to your grandparents?
They don't really have a good relationship. They would only reproach her and it would escalate and it would be my fault, but thanks for your answer!
I don't think that would be a good idea. That would probably make it worse because they already know that it doesn't look good financially and give her a couple of hundred euro for her birthday etc.
Thank you for your answer!
Now it's really amazing for your age that you worry about your mother's finances.
You're probably right, a conversation won't stop you from spending too much money.
Either you can handle money or you just can't. I can't do it myself either (of course I have no debts and a good income)
Perhaps you would be relieved if you discussed this with your grandparents. Dump your worries there, your mother is her daughter not yours. After that, you focus back on school and ignore this matter again. Let your grandparents take care of it.
Probably I will not talk to you about it because you have already roughly noticed and that would not change anything (or change it negatively) but in any case thank you for your answer!
Then drop it off at your big brother's and then forget about it.
She will probably not learn to save
