I have my oral English exam tomorrow and I urgently need suggestions for improvement, which I can roughly say, here is my text. Can someone edit it for me so that there are no errors in it? I have to talk about myself for about 3-5 minutes and it would be great if someone could improve my text or give me different beginnings of sentences or better words that don't sound so "German". Thanks in advance
My name is ___ I'm 16 years old and I was born in _____ on the 4th of November 2004 so my Star sign is Scorpio. I live in a house with my parents, my mom is 51 years old and my dad 57 years old, I also have a brother and he is 27 years old. Both of my parents are working as a gardener and my brother works as a technician. My parents hobbies are singing and dancing and to do photography and my brother hobbies are reading and sports. In my freetime I really love watching Netflix shows, one of my favorite shows are Skins and The Vampire Diaries these are literally the best shows I've ever seen. What I also like to do is picnic with my friends and hang out with them, another thing that I like to do is making jewelery like Chains and Rings its a new hobby I guess. I also really like to draw I love to be creative thats why my favorite subject is Art but the subject that i like the least is mathematics because i can't handle with the numbers its too complicated and difficult for me. Anyways my favorite color is black because you can combine everything with the color and its always looking good and simple. After school I do a job training but in the future I wanna do something with design because I'm really into fashion.
My name is ___. I'm 16 years old and I was born in _____ on the 4th of November 2004, due to that my star sign is Scorpio. I live in an house with my parents, my mom is 51 and my dad 57 years old. I also have a brother who is 27 years old. Both of my parents are working as gardener and my brother works as a technician. My parents hobbies are singing and dancing. Furthermore, they love to take pictures of______. My brothers hobbies are reading and sports. In my freetime, I really love watching Netflix shows, one of my favorite shows are Skins and The Vampire Diaries. These are literally the best shows I've ever seen! In addition, I love picnicking with my friends and to hang out with them. A more "special" thing I like to do is making jewelery-for example chains and rings. It's a new hobby for me, I guess. I also really like to draw: I love to be creative, because of that my favorite subject is Art. I would also like to mention the subject that i like the least: mathematics. I just can't handle it! I think it's too complicated and too difficult for me. Anyways, my favorite color is black because you can combine everything with the color and its always looking good and simple. After school I'm doing a job training, but in the future I want to do something with design because I'm really into fashion.
Hey, haven't changed too much, otherwise it would be too noticeable. Hope it helps you.
Mega thank you
So in itself I think the text is good and I wouldn't change it grammatically because I'm not so sure about something myself yet. I have noticed that you are more likely to talk about your relatives and friends than about yourself. Perhaps you will include additional information there? Why are Skins and The Vampire Diaries the best shows for you? What do you particularly like about a design job?
Have you ever measured the time you need to read your text? I was reading a little faster than two minutes
Ahh okay thank you
Star sign is translated more literally, actually it means "zodiac sign".
Otherwise I would also take @ Martina1709's suggestion, which is nicer formulated because she linked the sentences more closely.
Okay thanks!
It's called zodiac sign and you mean women's necklaces, they are necklaces and not chains.
the text is quite colloquial and if you get it down by heart it won't go down well.
your parents' hobbies have nothing to do with it, it's about you.
My name is ___ I'm 16 years old and I was born in _____ on the (only spoken, not written) 4th of (only spoken, not written) November 2004 (comma) so my Star (RS) sign is Scorpio. I live in a House (RS) with my parents (new sentence) my mom is 51 years old and my dad 57 years old, I also have a brother and he is 27 years old. Both of my parents are working (grammar) as a gardener (grammar) and my brother works as a technician. My parents (grammar) hobbies are singing and dancing and to do photography and my brother (grammar) hobbies are reading and sports. In my freetime (comma) I really love watching Netflix shows, (--- you name 2 shows) my favorite (AE; BE = favorite) shows are Skins and The Vampire Diaries (new sentence) these (I would prefer them here. ) are literally the best shows I've ever seen. (---) I also like to (---) picnic with my friends and hang out with them (period, new sentence) Moreover, I like to make jewelery like Chains (RS) and Rings (RS) (period, newer Sentence) its (RS, grammar) a new hobby (comma) I guess. I also really like to draw (comma / point) I love to be creative thats (RS) why my favorite (AE; BE = favorite) subject is Art (new sentence)
However, the subject (---) i (RS) like (the) least is maths (RS, comma) because i (RS) can't handle (---) numbers (new sentence) its (RS, grammar) too complicated and difficult for me. Alternatively: The subject I like least is Maths though. I…
Anyway, my favorite color (= AE; BE = favorite, color) is black because you (RS) can combine everything with the color and its (RS, grammar) always looking (grammar) good and simple. After school (comma) I do a job training but in the future I wanna (shouldn't be used in an exam; want to or would like to) do something with design because I'm really into Fashion (RS).
Punctuation and spelling are also important in a lecture text. Punctuation marks indicate where speaking pauses have to be made. In addition, words z. T. Pronounced differently depending on the spelling (e.g. Were - where).
The bold text needs to be corrected. I hope I haven't missed anything.
For vocabulary and spelling, I recommend a good (online) dictionary, e.g. Pons.com,
for the grammar ego4u.de and englisch- help.de - and stay away from the Google sickener and his dull colleagues!
:-) AstridDerPu
