I ask myself every day what decision I want to make and am afraid to make the wrong one. Maybe someone can give me a tip? Or maybe nobody can help me.
Context: Throughout my life I had someone by my side (first brother, then partner) that I focused on so much that I lost focus on myself; the only important thing for me was that the other person is happy. What made her happy also made me happy, so I don't really know what I actually want. That seems to be a problem at the latest now.
In 2018 I was sick, completely. Chemo. I worked my dream job (very social and legal) until the end of 2019, for a total of almost five years. Half-day, well paid, the money was enough for my standard of living at the time because I never did much, but I liked Netflix + writing + cooking + family.
Since December my life has turned completely upside down. I work in an important position, in a high-ranking position, in another city, part-time, so I earn more and have a large circle of friends here. The best friend, because of which I have more or less done all of this, also lives here and I spend a lot of money because I do a lot.
I should be proud and satisfied, but my old job is still available and I keep asking myself: don't I want to go back and have this quiet life back? Thanks to my former illness, this whole life seems so draining and stressful, even though I enjoy the things I do. But I still catch myself thinking that I just want to flee back to my previous life - even though I have so many opportunities and friends here who have given me a room in a shared apartment despite the bad housing situation in the city, I have a good one straight away Get a job and can earn more in the future, while I can't go up in my old job and would then have to look for a second job. But the new job is zero legal and far less comfortable than the first, and the legal is my hobbyhorse. The people from both jobs are nice. I just wonder if I would regret taking this step back into my old job for a long time - I wonder if that is not completely incomprehensible, how I can even think about giving up these huge opportunities - on the other hand I ask me, whether I let myself be influenced again by the exterior aka the social conceptions and whether an eternally quiet life without a career is not okay if it is just okay for me. Or am I blocking the future like this because it is not likely that I would like to do the same for 30 years? I'm 29 by the way.
I'm considering creating pro & contra lists, but maybe someone has tips?
I'll try to answer your big question once.
First of all, it doesn't matter what others think, you are not doing your life for other lives. If you think about your old job so often, make a pro and contra list that can help you make your decision. If you change your job, you can still go out with your current friends and have fun with them… You have to know for yourself how your life will go on. Good friends support you in every situation.
I could tell you now, better do that or that, but then you would only live as someone else tells you.
Remember that we only have this one life and that is precious, so live so that you can say I would do it again exactly. Do not regret any of your decisions and if you have any doubts, leave it alone.
Be the next one yourself! After all, the others only take care of themselves!
Hope I could help a little and wish all the best!
Just because you decide now - if you do - to go back to your "old" life doesn't mean that it will stay the way it is now or before. You are still young, the doors are open to you. We're getting older and stay healthier than before, the retirement age continues to rise, so it is completely normal nowadays that 40, 50y. Start again and reorient yourself professionally, etc.
Everyone is different, for one the career counts and the "achieve in life" at all costs, for the other other things are important - family, friends, decelerate. Some also manage to manage everything relatively well, but few are.
Because of your illness (welcome to the club…) you probably have a different view of things and relationships in life (at least that's how I feel). There may be material things and proving yourself is no longer so important and fun also has a different meaning.
Maybe there's also a kind of middle ground between your current and your previous job and even if the current city is not "yours", I would not find that bad - you will certainly have friends in the old city and you can always meet come visit or in the age of the internet keeping in touch is much easier so even earlier.
My advice: listen to your gut feeling. Feel what is really good for you and above all - take your time. Hasty decisions are of no use here. All the best!
