Man wants to study full-time at 30 without student loans?

I'll get straight to the point.

My husband is 30 years old, comes from abroad (5 years ago) and studied journalism in his home country. Now he wants to study mechanical engineering. The problem is that he is not entitled to student loans and wants to study full-time.

He has not yet completed his C1 language course and has absolutely no knowledge of mathematics, physics or chemistry. Now he has submitted an application to the job center so that it finances him or us during his studies. I was self-employed, have since deregistered the business and am at home with our one-year-old daughter. I had imagined everything so differently.

When we were planning his studies, he assured me that we would also help finance a large part of it during the studies. (Through student loans and a mini job) now he wants to make me dependent on social benefits. I also planned to work when the child goes to daycare, at least part-time, because I will almost completely take care of the household and the child on my own.

Now I would only work to pay the job center and receive top-up benefits, or I work full-time and do everything on the side to just make ends meet. It annoys me sooo much. And he can hardly be talked to. His suggestion, then you have a second child and the job center finances it.

The problem is also that he is not studying at all, he is not preparing for anything. He has just had a four-month course from the employment agency financed for the C1 test, but is 100% assuming that he will not be able to do it. All day long he either watches films on Netflix or is on Facebook. And today he says it's a long way and it could easily take 6 years.

When I met him, he always said he wanted to continue studying. But back then there was always talk of a master's degree and 2 years of study. At that time he was enrolled in mechanical engineering at his other university for 3 semesters, he did not take a single class.

I told him it wasn't a given that I would go along with this. He said I should be ashamed to dismantle him from the beginning and a real woman supports her husband and I can say what I want, he goes through with the studies. I would just cause unnecessary problems.

How would you act in my place? I have absolutely no desire for the whole thing. In addition, our marriage is not stable at all and we keep talking about separation.

sad greetings

You support and motivate a determined husband.

But not a lazy sack who isn't even willing to achieve the basics for his goals.

He's a parasite. At your expense and that of the state.

We keep talking about separation.

I would pull through the breakup. You're better off with your child alone.

Why doesn't your husband work in his job?

Because he doesn't speak German properly and as a journalist he has absolutely no perspective, he says. He's also never read a German book to improve himself.

My husband is 30 years old, comes from abroad (5 years ago) and studied journalism in his home country. Now he wants to study mechanical engineering. The problem is that he is not entitled to student loans and wants to study full-time.

Until then I would have said: "Yes, of course! If he is so smart, the age and the lack of student loans is not a problem!"

But, if I read the rest of the way, I have to say he's taking advantage of you and even a second child to keep him from getting things done.

He probably doesn't want to. So break up.

The problem is not that your husband still wants to study when he is 30 and does not receive student loans. The problem is that with his insufficient schooling he has no chance of being admitted to engineering studies.

The way you describe him he is not only uneducated, but also lazy and arrogant. Besides, he just wants to exploit you.

You would do yourself and your child a huge favor by breaking up with them immediately.

He will NEVER make it through.
Even if he should be admitted to the course, he will NEVER meet the requirements / exams / exams in the mechanical engineering course.

I don't think he's a good life partner for you.

You have to decide for yourself what conclusions you will draw from this.

All the best!