There's a terrible anger in me - how do I get rid of it?

Hey so this is a rather uncomfortable post for me.

I have had a very strong anger and aggression problem lately. The real problem, however, is that I only let them out to my parents in times of quarantine and that is why I have had a lot of loud arguments.

I get irritated very quickly. Always. I was "bullied" very often because I quickly show emotions. Back then tears. I cried for every little thing. Now that has developed into tantrums. It may be that I'm only told things like that, the wrong pan, just close the pack before you put it in the fridge or - worst of all - why are you so annoyed again.

I really try my best, but when I'm really annoyed about these little things and try to calm down and then I hear comments like: 'why are you so bad now' or 'pay attention to your tone', then I rest out. I'm definitely not proud of yelling at my parents, but I can't.

Sometimes I just avoid the conflict by simply going to my room. This is then referred to as childish again. Well, actually I'm just avoiding freaking out. Now my Netflix account was taken away and my father removed my door because I seem to be spending too much time in my room. I mean, I don't understand the meaning behind it, but well, now everything is very tense with us and I absolutely don't want to talk about it.

I tried last time and they just yelled back at me because they don't understand that there's this anger that I can't get rid of.
I hope any one of you has an idea how to get rid of the anger and please don't do something like 'just take a deep breath' because I'm screaming before I realize I'm angry.

The way you are treated, I can understand your anger. Hanging the door is simply not possible. You don't even have a retreat anymore.

Call the number against grief.

Don't you have any relatives who could help you?

Always talk to your parents. Say that you make an effort and want to do everything right and get extremely frustrated when corrections keep coming. Clarify it like this: Please your parents, from A to B, e.g. Go from the living room to the fridge and keep stopping them. No, not so fast, go straight, not so stiff, not so close to the wall, come again, take the magazine with you, hold it differently!
Then say that you often feel that way when dealing with them. How to change that. You could e.g. Always ask in advance: What should I do, what should I use, what should I pay attention to?

Looking for frustration relief, e.g. B. Sport, loud singing, strength training, jogging etc.
Give your parents compliments, small gifts, do some work for them to improve their mood.

I can imagine that you would not like to hear this, but in such extreme cases I would advise you to think about therapy.
If you are actually very emotional and could not allow these emotions, you may have pushed them too far in the past and they are now discharged by the tantrums. It is good that you recognize the problem yourself and want to change something, that is the first step in the right direction.

Thank you

I honestly thought of that, but I'm only 16 and would probably have to ask my parents about it. But they don't really take me seriously and wouldn't support me there

As a teenager, you can go to psychotherapy without your consent. The health insurance covers the costs, you just have to make sure that you choose a therapist who will be paid by the health insurance. But they'll tell you on the phone, you'll just take your health card with you and your parents won't have to come along. In any case, it would be helpful to inform them about it. If they make fun of them, remind them that you want to work on yourself and that they also suffer from your pain.

Your parents are obviously not up to the task. Under these conditions, even more prudent people would react angrily. Perhaps you could turn to the school psychologist, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, or another confidant just to have someone on your side.

For yourself, you can only achieve some distance between yourself and your anger, so that you can be tactically controlled in such stressful situations. Your parents bet that you always tick out the same way. Unfortunately, this makes you predictable. You only need to do the following exercise once in a quiet minute to reprogram yourself:

After a while it will be easier for you to keep control of yourself in a stressful situation. Once you're confident, there are a number of counter tactics to choose from:

It is best to pass the exercise sets to your parents anonymously (postcard is enough):

Look at yourself. How does it feel to be you?

Then they will also change over time.